Wednesday August 8, 8:30 AM
Me: Oh wow! I slept in! That’s great!…My body doesn’t hurt too much, I wonder if I can get back to barre today…it looks like a beautiful day outside.
PTSD: Eyes open…Fuck…what day is it? Wednesday…Ok, any appointments today? No, thank God, I’m not ready to leave my apartment.
Me: Oh right, you’re still here…. well, we have to walk Ginger.
PTSD: ok, how soon and how far?
Me: Well, her system has been off since I got triggered in the Pyshc’s office last Tuesday…Oh yeah, now I remember…she threw up on the couch when I was triggered and she’s had multiple accidents in the house since then, so we have to feed her and take her out right away and walk her until she does everything If we don’t want to deal with shit on the carpet again…This always happens when I am really badly triggered.
PTSD: FUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!! It took her 30 minutes last night! (Pulls covers over head)
Me: Look, we love walking Ginger. Caring for her always makes us feel better. We don’t have to be ANYWHERE today. If we don’t want to go to barre or leave the house, we dont have to. All we have to do is get out of bed, walk downstairs, make a lovely cup of tea, and take Ginger for a walk. Then we can do whatever we need to. But we know leaving the apartment always makes us feel better.
PTSD:All I want to do is run away….
Me: (please do. This is exhausting and totally unnecessary.)
PTSD: but I’m afraid to leave the house 😩