The Phoenix

0

Because I Can, I Must

What is my real reason for putting myself through the inevitable frustration and torture of launching a YouTube channel, at 48 years young AND without makeup (I wear lipstick)? Believe me, I am not naive. I counseled my own daughters through endless frustrations, and that was AFTER doing all within my power to discourage them…

0

Manifest

Miracles abound literally all around me Big and little explosions of Blessings shower down on me and every Soul who generously and with gratitude shares in the richly Blessed Spiritual space which has become my constant companion since I had the courage to become My Self… And to demand that Self be Seen

0

Lessons in Actualization

DH, my ex, doesn’t believe in actualization, and that is a very dangerous way to exist. We DO actualize our lives, either by accident or on purpose.  So if you spend your energy focusing on your fears, guess what’s gonna get actualized? The change began when our first child was born… Being a father was…

0

The Annual FuckBoy Apology Text

How many of you ladies receive these? A year after some guy sees how fantastically amazing you are, declares his love for you and then disappears off the face of the planet, he suddenly appears as a late night PING on your cell phone… “Hi. It’s Generic Fuckboy… I hope you’re doing well. I missed…

0

The Slippery Slope of Unconditional Generosity

Georgia taught me how lovely it is to start each day fresh. So I try, when I am sufficiently on point, to put away the dishes and wipe down the counters at the end of each night. She did this every single night, virtually without fail, and I don’t understand HOW because I am just…

0

Rising From the Ashes

I gotta change my name. It feels too weird walking around with the name of someone who suffered so much it broke her heart to death. She is IN me, she is my heart and she continues to teach and nourish my soul, but she is not “Me.” And yet, isn’t it weird to change…

0

Actualization is the Key

It’s crazy how life changes. One day you’re struggling along, barely able to make a cup of tea and walk the dog, and soon enough you are keeping up (trigger-free!) with the absurd political soap opera unfolding on National TV, mastering skills from an overflowing bucket list, preparing and sharing amazing meals with a man…

1

Eulogy

Dear DickHead, I have to thank you for killing her, the woman you married, the mother of your children. She was a beautiful, talented woman who knew only how to care for others. She had no idea how to stand up for or by herself, so when you burned her world down and bludgeoned her…

0

Attention Narcs!

If you think you can “park” communal property in hidden accounts about which your spouse knows nothing and get to keep SHIT when she wakes up to your gaslighting bullshit, think again. California divorce law is perfectly clear, and this isn’t the 1940s…No one’s going to lock me up and take away my rights because…

0

I’m out! (For now)

This topic is too fresh and painful for me to write about clearly, but it’s a journal entry that I believe will be helpful to others navigating their own pain, so I’m posting it with apologies for poor organization of my thoughts. Comments are encouraged. Wednesday August 8. 11:00 PM It’s been a year, since…

5

Morning pep talk

Wednesday August 8, 8:30 AM   Me: Oh wow! I slept in! That’s great!…My body doesn’t hurt too much, I wonder if I can get back to barre today…it looks like a beautiful day outside. PTSD: Eyes open…Fuck…what day is it? Wednesday…Ok, any appointments today? No, thank God, I’m not ready to leave my apartment. Me:…

0

CHOOSE, DO, BELIEVE

One of, if not THE most important of my goals, is to join with and contribute to the growing online community of Mental Health sufferers who have, in an effort to combat the lack of real help most of us are receiving from the psychiatric community, begun doing their own research and sharing it with others….

3

The Witch Hunt

Depressive or shy?  Bubbly personality or Hypomania? Seasonal Affective Disorder or Bipolar? Introspective or antisocial… how the psychiatric community is failing us   Find Joy in the beauty around you,they say, in the rising of the sun, the rustle of the leaves, the cacophony of birdsong that accompanies the first rays of light…In your family,…

0

Can we please just rip it off already?

I am not “excited” about the realization that I suffer with PTSD for any reason other than it explains every single peculiar thing about me that I have questioned my entire life. I do not relish the fact that it still frequently controls me. However, if I hope to be free of it (which I…

0

The nightmare is real

Living with PTSD is like every now and then you randomly find yourself locked in a cage where you can see and hear everyone around you but you can’t feel them, and they keep yelling at you to just get out. But you can’t get out. You’re trapped by an invisible wall that no one…

0

Rebirth

By experiencing and rising above life's pain with an open and grateful heart, a woman gives birth to her true self   I don't know about you, but once I see the young woman, the old woman becomes all but completely invisible.
0

Art

Art is the expression of a soul’s evolution
0

A Day in the Life of PTSD

I strongly encourage everyone to journal and I'm posting this mess of thoughts to demonstrate why daily writing is such an important tool in managing PTSD. The essence of this journal entry is that I got triggered by something inconsequential, and through writing about my reaction over the course of the day was ultimately able...
0

Learning to Live in the Moment

As I was perusing some of my past journal entries this morning I came across a few thoughts I needed to revisit myself!  So I’ve chosen to share something I wrote on a really good day about a month ago, with the hope that it also resonates with some of you... Have you ever tried...
0

Facing The Enemy

So now that I have officially embarked on this next phase of my life, put my old life behind me and wrapped up most of the loose ends, what is left is the hardest part: facing the enemy within. I have rid my life of the narcissists telling me I am crazy and delusional. What...
2

There is LIFE after divorce!

Well friends, It’s been one year since I embarked on the first leg of this journey I am calling Georgia Leigh 2.0.  One year since I left almost everything behind and moved to LA with only my fourteen year old daughter and a few bags of clothes.  One year since I finally said “NO!” to living...
2

The Last Fuckboy

Fuckboys are right not to spend more time with us, not to treat us better. We don’t deserve better. that’s why we love them, because they are smart enough, understand us enough, see deeply into us enough to know that we are unworthy. And so by treating us in a manner appropriate to our unworthiness,...
1

Fuckboy Addiction

So by now you should understand that a FuckHead is a girl who has a bad case of Fuckboy Addiction.  And before you get  your knickers in a knot, let's have a look at this, evolutionarily.... Who is getting what they want?  Are YOU?...Or are the Fuckboys?... 'nuf said.  Darwin's idea was that we evolve...
0

We like to do it in the Kitchen

Why is it considered so romantic to go out to a restaurant, sit in public across the table from each other and eat food someone else has cooked while a few dozen strangers keep a close eye on you?  Surely this must be a contributing factor to the dismal state of “relationships” in our culture,…

0

Enjoy the Journey

I journal every single day (it clears my mind, sorts my thoughts, and saves my darling Bone from drowning in a pool of word vomit every night), and will be putting random excerpts from my journal in the blog.   These are mostly unedited ramblings from my heart – comments welcome but please no judgement. Wednesday…

0

🚫EnergyVampires

There is so much talk about “boundaries,” from bratty teenagers asserting Power to parents, to abused wives saying “No!” But what really happens when you enforce those boundaries, not just in how people treat you, but in giving them access to you in the first place? When thoughts of a toxic person enter your mind,…